It’s natural for the parents to expect the best from their child. But like all fingers are not alike, they have to understand that not all children have the same caliber. Each and every one is good at something and bad at something, but comparing them with their siblings would leave a negative impact on that child.
You may feel that if you compare the child with their siblings, it will instigate them to perform well, and that’s true. But, comparison should be just to vie with each other, not to bring an enmity in them. This comparison may bring down their self esteem and they would feel left out. Let’s find out the reason why parents should not compare siblings:
1. It leaves a negative impact in their mind: Remember every child is an individual and every individual has different traits. Comparing again and again might leave a negative impact in their minds and they mind lose their confidence. Even if you want to give an example by comparing the sibling, do it in a very polite way so it doesn’t hurt their feelings.
One more thing, comparing in their studies and their academics is still OK in a way, as it will provoke them to do better. But never compare them for the looks and their physical appearance like “She is prettier than you, so it won’t suit you”. It’s a big NO. Not everyone is perfect and as a parent you should understand that.
2. Brings in hatred for the sibling: Secondly, a child is very sensitive to things and little things might change their feelings towards you and the siblings. So you might not know and they would generate hatred for their siblings. Every human being is mundane and only their specialties make them extraordinary or ordinary. Keeping this in mind, handle them with extreme care and love.
3. Feel biased: Never portray them as negative and siblings as positive, try to be unbiased. We know that parents are never biased towards their children and they treat them equally, but portraying the siblings as positive and the child as negative might bring in a feeling of partiality. Apparently, they would feel “even if we do anything good, they will never support me”. Every child might feel offensive, if you compare again and again.
4. They might face mental stress and low self esteem: Because of continuous blaming and comparison, your child may face mental stress and low self esteem. It’s you who should always help raise their self confidence. Instead, if you try to compare time and again, they might face mental stress and that might be hazardous.
To conclude, Accept your child the way they are and continued comparisons is not good for a harmonious relation between you and your child. If they do anything wrong, don’t get furious and start comparing, instead, try to placate them and make them understand their mistake and try to sort it together.
Comparing is never a solution to any problem, it’s for you to understand that and handle the situation.