Having a miscarriage is the biggest loss ever. Especially with couple who has conceived for the first time, it’s really heart breaking. I recently had one, and can feel the pang behind. However, it was an early miscarriage and unfortunately, it’s common these days, says the doctor.
It’s really easy to be sympathetic and suggest, but the after affects and the suffering that the woman face is only known to her. Even If it’s an early or late miscarriage the pain and the sorrow is the same. No words of sympathy can eliminate the depth of pain one is suffering. I still cry sometimes when I am alone. Though I had a 12th week miscarriage, but even before you hear the heartbeat of the baby, you start planning everything. You wait desperately for that moment when you will relish the feeling of motherhood. All the plans and dreams crash at a once.
But, some day you have to some over it, the sooner the better. I realized this just recently. Because the more you think about it the more you get deeper into depression, remember this is not the end of the world. You have to deal with this only then you can plan for the next baby.
- Kill the depression: A person automatically slips into depression once an unfortunate incident happens. It’s really important to come out of that, because excessive depression might affect you mentally and physically. SO practice meditation and keep yourself busy in order to cope with this after effect.
- The guilt: This is something, which I felt. We wonder what went wrong and was it my mistake. Have I done something, which I wasn’t supposed to do? So there are lot of questions and guilt in the mind. May be it was my mistake. SO first thing, Get out of the guilt. It is no body’s mistake. It had to happen and so it happened. Feeling guilty will make the situation worse and you will not be able to come out of it.
- Support each other: This is not a loss of a single person, but both of you suffer equally. So you have to support each other and try not to blame each other. I know your dream is shattered. But it’s time to move on and support and love each other.
- Talk to a counsellor: If you feel, you are not able to come out of it, speak to a counsellor. And talk your heart out and try to find a solution for this rather than living with it forever.
- Talk to your Doctor: Discuss with your doctor on what could be the possible reasons, this happened to you and what are the future measures to be taken, so that this is not repeated again.
- This is not the end: Remember this is not the end of everything. These days it is common and people conceive again. If not, there are many other options these days like adoption.
So, it all depends on you, how to get out of this situation and move on in your life. Your mental state of mind will become stable over a period of time. But this should not affect your health and mind. If you don’t come over it, this might affect your next baby. So keeping this in mind, try to be calm and composed. In no time you will come over it.