Every second day, we get to hear and read the news about small girls being sexually assaulted or being molested. And with the recent news of a 6 year old girl being raped in the school, it raises a question in every parent’s mind that, Is my daughter or son safe? Earlier, they used to say that school is your second home. But with such incidents, we become cynical about the fact. Having said that, a child faces sexual abuse from someone very close in the family or a close family friend for that matter and so we have to be extra vigilant starting from our homes.
We cannot deny, or pretend, or hope that our child is safe and these things cannot happen with them. Don’t give yourself false hopes and ignore the facts. This over confidence, or your self- denial mode, can make your child more vulnerable in the society. Any such incident happens around you; just think that this can happen to your child as well. You might feel that talking to your child about sexual abuse, will have a bad impact, but if you do not discuss this, it will have worse effect on your child physically and mentally.
So, to avoid any such incident to happen, it is better we open up and talk to your child and educate them about sexual abuse. Let’s point out how:
- Always keep an eye on them and warn them never to sit on anyone’s lap except the father, not even a close relative in any situation.
- Sometimes you hear your relative or friend refer to your child as “she is my wife or husband”. Alert yourself right away, and warn them never to use such words with your child. And if this still continues, tell them to excuse you and not to visit your kid again. Tomorrow these people can be the main culprit for a child’s abuse. So its better you maintain distance with them and so does your child.
- Keep an eye on the kind of friend circle you child has. And also what kind of games they play. If you find their games weird, stop them right away.
- Never send your child to their friend’s home alone, it is better you go along, and only if you feel they are safe there, you can leave them for some time, but keep checking in between. Don’t let them stay there for long.
- Also, if you see that the child is playing with an adult, alarm yourself, and bring your child back immediately and enquire them about what game they were playing and also watch the body language of the child, till you are satisfied that nothing unfortunate has happened to them.
- Never force your child to stay with an adult, they are not comfortable with and also try to get the reason behind that indifferent behavior. Moreover, be observant if your child becomes too fond of any person.
- If you notice, any change in your child’s behavior, try to find the reason and probe as much as possible, may be they are not able to explain and so they have become silent. You should never be too strict with your child that they become hesitant to share anything with you. Try to be friendly with them right from the beginning and ask them everyday things like what happened in school and what games did they play etc.
- Teach your kids how to wash their private parts at an early age and tell them never allow anyone to touch those areas including you. This is how they will learn.
- Also, if your child is complaining about a particular incident or about a person or pain in a particular area (private parts), don’t keep quiet about that and try to get details on what happened and let your child know that no matter what you are always there to support them.
So the list continues, but these small things will at least help us to stay alert and stand beside our child and fight for them. As already said, we cannot be 100% sure that your child is safe, so we have to take extra measures to make sure they feel safe and they share every little things with you. I know parents these days have become so busy that they hardly get time to speak to their child, but make this a habit that you get the whole day update from your child and stay alert if you find anything fishy.
I personally feel that, a child needs extra care at certain age and staying with a maid whole day makes them cranky and moody. They are not a burden on you, then why make them feel like one. Try to spend as much time as possible with your child. Remember family comes first, you can make money later, but once a child looses confidence and faith in you, you cannot get that back.