For centuries, India has been reeling under the so called rules of the patriarchy, that a woman’s place is within the four walls of the house and she has no right to put her point or raise her voice, and she is not supposed to live her dreams or aspirations. According to the stats more than 2/3 rd of women feel, there exists inequality at home, between men and women.
Having said that, in the modern world, women have become independent but there still are some so called thumb rules that they have to concur to and abide by those rules. There still lies inequality within the family. There is a bias between a son and a daughter. I fail to understand, why a son is treated as special, he can do whatever he wants to do and they cower all the mistakes done by him. Whereas, a girl has to be in her limits, she is blamed for a smallest of mistakes. Taking an advantage of this a man thinks that he gets a right to do anything and everything and he can conveniently get away from it, THANK GOD because of his supporting and blindfolded parents who doesn’t want to accept the mistake of their son that he comes out of this conveniently letting the woman suffer for the rest of her life. And for the very same reason, a girl has been kept quite? If she raises her voice, she is a B****.
The same rule applies post marriage. SO this is a perpetual problem for a woman and this has to end. Let me quote an incident of one of my close akin.
I came across Neeta at a super market. She looked weak and tired. As she saw me there was a spark in her eyes and she just hugged me tight and broke down. It’s been quite a while that I spoke to her or met her, so this came as a pleasant surprise. But her eyes were saying something else; her tears rolling down the cheeks told an untold story.
Being of the same age we used to talk about how we would be after marriage and also would discuss how our prince charming would be. But time flies. We both got married and it’s been 2 years since then, we totally lost touch and it was time for some confrontations.
“Just pour your heart out, Neeta.” I said sitting at a coffee shop nearby.
Neeta was married for 2 years now. As she has dreamt, her husband was very loving and caring and since they stayed away from family, he would help her with the household chores. She was in cloud nine and always felt lucky to have such a caring husband. Months passed by, now her husband took a transfer to another city and called up his parents along too. Initial days went smoothly, her mother-in-law would help her in all the chores and she was never so happy and felt blessed being a part of this family. Sometimes her husband would also help her out in laundry and small chores. It was like a drop in the ocean though, but still she was glad, they understood her. But her mother-in-law never liked Neeta’s husband helping her out in the chores and so she asked him to stop and he did the same. Slowly, the true colour started emerging.
Slowly, her mother-in law too stopped helping her out and would sit on the sofa and order. She was flabbergasted by this changed attitude. She has to finish the work on time, serve breakfast dot at 9 Am, then lunch at 12 sharp. If she would be little late, she would start blabbering and would complaint to her husband with an innocent face and he would scold her and even beat her in front of his parents. Her mother-in-law felt happy and there would be a sheepish smile on her face. On top of that, he started abusing her and treating her like a slave. But she would never utter a word and would take everything. She was taught to do so and she couldn’t complain to her parents.
She would think why my husband is not able to see the cunningness of her mother-in-law. This continued almost every day. One fine day, she decided to take an extreme step and she ate sleeping pills, falling unconscious flat on the ground.
This was not about not helping her out, but because she was misunderstood by her husband and he changed completely, that kind of broke her from inside. After spending some time in the hospital, she was discharged and is now back. But the depression and torment that she went through, still haunts her and that made her weaker from inside. She is now at her mom’s place, but a pang is still there like a deep scar.
After listening to all this, tears rolled down my cheeks and I really felt bad for her. But this is not about Neeta; it is about every woman who goes through a mental and physical exertion every day. I fail to understand, why this indifference between men and women. It is about time; we stop this torture and start behaving sensibly. Husband and wife are two pillars of the house and only with each other’s support, the house will be strong, otherwise it will fall apart.