Stranger danger and child safety

Its strange how sometimes a small incident which is totally unimportant stays in your mind forever, or incidents which happened with you when you were small makes you feel that God is there and he saved you from something worse to happen. When I was a little girl, my mom always used to tell me never ever trust a stranger and don’t go to him even if he offers anything which you like. They will abduct you and take you away from your parents. And I used to literally imagine, how my life would be horrible without my parents and I used to think of ways to get rid of that stranger and come back to my parents. It was silly though, but when you are small, as I said earlier, even little things stay forever in your mind. I used to think, I will beat him and shout for help and then someone will come and help me.

And I am so thankful to my mom for she continuously was alert and made us alert about any mishap. I still remember, I was 12 years old, and it was during our summer vacation. I and my neighbour friend were just going to the tailor’s house, to get her mom’s dress stitched, which was just a kilometre away from my house. Because it was summer, afternoon time is all hot and so you can hardly see a single human being outside.

So, we reached the tailor’s place and because she said it’s going to take some time to get the dress done, my friend stayed back and I had to go back because, my mom instructed me to come back soon. So on the way, I saw an ugly old man was standing. He called me and asked me for some direction. I, standing there, directed him to the place. He said, he doesn’t understand and asked me to come along. Suddenly he insisted me and started pulling me towards him. At that point, I realized, something’s wrong and started pulling myself back with all my force. But I couldn’t get rid of his grip. Was trying hard but all my force and my pressure went in vein and then I thought I have to do something. And I just bit him on his hand and ran as fast as I could. He followed me till some distance, but since my house was not too far, I started shouting “Help, help”. And to this he became alert and ran away.  I came home and was in a state of shock and told my mom the whole incident. I was so petrified that even now when I think about it, I feel, what if like a foolish girl, I would have gone along with him. What would have been my condition? And I literally get the Goosebumps.

I really feel, it was because of my mom continuously explaining me and because God was there with me that, I came out of it safely, without being hurt. This incident made me even more alert and brave.

This story is not to show how brave I was and how God have saved me, but to tell everyone that, any danger never tells you before coming. So always keep your child alert and keep teaching them about the danger they can get into if they blindly trust a stranger and try to help them, without thinking, it’s a trap. So as parents, you have to keep your child alert and keep probing them if you find their behaviour unusual. It’s better to be safe than sorry.


Your pregnancy: those pampering days

Pregnancy is the time when a woman has lot of mood fluctuations and cravings and they want all the attention in the world. And its natural, they get all the pampering from everyone, right from the in-laws, parents, husband of course and also the neighbours.

Your body goes through so many hormonal changes, you feel groggy, nausea, mood swings, cravings, cramps and what not. This is the time to take extreme care of yourself and your baby.  The jitters are common, there is anxiety. Every minute your mood changes and that is the reason doctors ask you to be happy.

Having said that, you behaviour affects the baby inside and those 9 months, you have to just think about the baby and behave and eat for the wellness of the baby.

  1. Always be happy: As discussed, your behaviour reflects positively or negatively to the baby inside. They say if you are happy, your baby is happy inside. Anger, anxiety, depression will affect adversely to your health and the baby. Whatever you think and do will affect your baby.
  2. Always think positive:  During pregnancy, one has to always take positive vibes and try to get away from negative thoughts. When you think positive, the vibes goes to the baby inside and that will always keep the baby positive. Don’t let negativity take a toll on your happiness and always try to be happy and positive, that is the mantra of healthy pregnancy.
  3. Listen to soothing music: Music is the best healer for any pains and during pregnancy, music always gives a soothing feeling. It doesn’t have to be necessarily only light music, but not too jazzy music. Songs and music which placates your mood swings is advisable.
  4. Read religious books: Reading books also diverts from any thoughts which can make you sad, or give tension or anxiety. It keeps you busy. Especially when you read religious books, all your anxiety and jitters vanish and you feel mental peace.
  5. Meditation: This is the time, when you have mood fluctuations, you feel sad, lonely, happy, angry. SO many emotions barge into your mind, that you don’t have control over it. So best way is to try to manage all these emotions. Meditation is the best practice to keep all these emotions away and keeps you happy and peaceful.
  6. Eat healthy: Whatever you eat, will help in the growth of your baby. So always eat healthy and eat small small quantity many times instead of eating big meals twice. Eat lot of fruits as well.
  7. Watch your cravings: This is the time, some women have weird cravings and they say you should never stop your craving. So watch your cravings and things which you think is healthy for the baby ea that.
  8. Don’t research too much: Doctors always suggest not to research too much at this time, because you have too many unnecessary information available on the net that you go research for anything, it will make you scared rather than happy and that will not help you in anyways, but will keep you more tensed and leave you doubtful.

I am as novice as anyone who has first pregnancy, but just tried to jot down all the points which our elders have been suggesting for ages and which has always worked wonders. SO all in all, always stay healthy, eat healthy and think healthy, your baby will be healthy.

What to do if a candidate backs off

Spending hours together in the portals and other sites to search for the best candidate for a particular position and once hired, if the candidate backs off at the last moment, it’s the most disquieting thing in the world. 80 % of the candidates do this. And when any such thing happens, the recruiter is back to square one and has to start from the scratch. At the same time escalations from the hiring manager and your boss is an inexplicable feeling. You just can’t help it but start all over again.

But, as a recruiter, when you have faced the situation N number of times, it is important that you take some measures to curb the last moment backing offs. Let’s discuss some of the measures that can be taken on this front, but before that lets point out the reasons of the last minute changes or backing offs:

  1. Better Offer: If a candidate has many offers in hand, it is up to them to decide on which offer they would go for and this could be one reason of backing off at the last moment. May be they got a better offer from a better company.
  2. No follow-up from the recruiter: The major reason could be, after the interview, if the recruiter doesn’t follow-up or be in touch and then at the last moment come out with the offer. The candidate gets pissed off, at the same time, makes up his/her mind to back off.
  3. Market conditions and salary offered: Any candidate when searching for the job also evaluates the market conditions and their market value and accordingly negotiates the salary. So if they feel that the salary offered is not as per their market value, they can take the offer but do not join.
  4. Unprofessional behaviour: An unprofessional behaviour on the recruiter’s side is also a reason for last moment changes.  Talking to the candidate rudely, showing apathy, not responding to their mails or calls, could make the candidate feel disappointed and can reject the offer upfront.

It’s not always that the recruiters are to be blamed, because, there are times, when the feedback from the client itself is delayed and that in turn forces the recruiter to back off from any follow-ups.

Having said that, the recruiter has to go ahead and take some necessary steps to pacify the candidate:

  1. Back up: When you are not sure about a particular candidate’s joining status, always keep a backup of the same and any last moment changes will help you close the position on time without you being affected by the escalations and thrashings from your boss. So be proactive and always keep a backup of any position you are sourcing for.
  2. Follow-up: As discussed above, the major reason of the last minute changes of any candidate can be lack of follow up from your end. A smart recruiter should always keep in touch with the candidate and the client and always follow up on the status of the candidate as well as the status of the position. If any client or candidate for that matter insinuates their status as negative, inform the same to the either party.
  3. Building a Rapport: The major factor which can hold back a candidate to accept any other offer could be your building a rapport with them. Keep talking to the candidate frequently and ask them what’s going on, just initiate a casual talk and build a rapport which will hold back the candidate.
  4. Build a network: At the same time, get other contacts from your candidate and build a strong network, so that any such opening related to the same skill, will help you close the position fast.

The recruiter is the backbone of any company and so it’s your responsibility to meet the expectations of the client, your boss as well as the candidates. A proactive recruiter always follows a proper procedure and helps close the position on time. However, the last minute backing offs or changes from the candidate is mundane and one has to be careful and take measures to curb the same.

The secret box of gifts

When I was child, every gift I got from my parents was as precious as a gem. And even now, I have kept them intact. I would like to show them to my kids and let them know the importance of every gift I got for my secured future. Parents always are extra cautious about their child’s future and to make it secure, they go that extra mile. No parents want their child to go through the pain they have suffered and they are always concerned about their safe and secure future.

As a child grows their wish list grows along with them and their tantrums are hard to fulfil. As a child, when they used to say, I give you my blessings as a gift, I used to feel disquieting and disgusted at the same time, like “How cheap! can’t they afford a small gift for me”. But it’s ironical how history repeats itself and when I say the same thing to my child, I get back the same look. But, I want my child to realize what is important and what is not. She has to know, there are kids who can’t even demand a gift because they are homeless and orphans.

But, I would definitely like to gift my child those special gifts which would be there for a lifetime and which would make her future safe and secure:

  1. Moral values: This may sound weird, but only when you teach them values that have been taught by our parents will they become a successful person and wonderful human being which is the most expensive gift of life. And this is one gift which can be passed on for generations to come.
  2. A savings account: Getting out of the notion, I will definitely open a savings account for my child and start depositing small amount every month. Also, I will take them along to open the account and teach them the importance of saving. This will not only teach them to save more and also help them in dealing with bank transactions.
  3. Insurance: A gift which a child will always be thankful of in the long run is to make their future safe and secure and that is through insurance. Getting some of the best policies will not only keep us tension free but also help our child’s future sealed and secured.
  4. Health: A good health is a sign to a healthy life and that is what matters the most for the parents. I would definitely want my child to be hale and healthy. The healthy child makes a healthy society. So I want my child to be always healthy and active.
  5. Love: Materialistic gifts are quite common and are given every time, but what matters the most for a child is to get the love and affection of the parents. There are kids, who are unfortunate enough to get that love and affection and I would like to teach my kids to share the love with those kids. This will make them realize how fortunate they are and also make them a good human being.

So all the values, wrapped with love, affection and good health is the secret box of gift, I would like to give my child for a safe and secured future.
1001 Gifts Activity by HDFC Life in association with BlogAdda

Taking a sabbatical from work

Planning to take a break from work, Is it the right time to do so and what is the difference between taking a break and sabbatical? Well sabbatical is nothing but a leave taken from the routine work which is also used interchangeably to taking a break. There could be many reasons of taking a sabbatical like stress, work pressure, health issues so on and so forth. Some employers provide a “sabbatical policy” wherein the person is given a maximum duration to go for a leave and then join the company. Employers have taken an initiative provide this facility in order to retain the employees at the same time giving them the leeway to take a sabbatical. However, if your company doesn’t have a sabbatical policy, the only option you are left with is to resign and start afresh after a break.

We will discuss about the same in both the scenarios, which is if the policy is there and if the policy is not there. When you are planning to take a sabbatical there are certain things that has to be kept in mind:

  1. When to rejoin: When you are given a leeway, you should not take advantage of the same. And keep your manager posted about your rejoining. Where you have resigned from the job, you have to be still more vigilant on how many days of break have you taken and this gap shouldn’t be a hindrance in your career growth. So a reasonable amount of breaks has to be taken and then start your process of job search immediately.
  2.  Reason for the leave: In either case, one has to have a proper reason to explain, why he/she is taking a break from work. If the reason is not genuine enough, the employer has a prerogative to cancel the leave. However, in the other case as well, Once you plan to come  back from leave and join another company, you have to have a proper reason to explain why the gap and the reason of taking the same.
  3. Duration of sabbatical: In the former case, the companies have a stipulated duration of sabbatical policy and the employee has to abide by the rules. But, in the latter case, you have to monitor your leaves on your own. Because if the duration is too long, the chances of you getting back into any job will become less. Because, no company accepts a major gap in a career. And you have to have a genuine reason to prove your point. With a working Mother, the sabbatical can be more advantageous and they have a reason to prove.
  4. Furnish documents where required: There could be health reason for the sabbatical, so make sure you maintain all the documents of the same and furnish at the time of rejoining or joining a new company. Without relevant medical documents, no company accepts your reason for the leave and that again could be a problem in your career.
  5. Leave on a positive note: If you are going for a sabbatical from the company or otherwise, always make it a point to leave on good terms and positive note. In case you are resigning the job, you still stand a chance to rejoin when you get back from leave. And so reassure you boss that this is purely due to personal or medical reasons and you would love to rejoin the company post the break, if given a chance.

So, a sabbatical if followed in a proper manner can be a breakthrough in your career, because research shows that when an employee gets back to work from a leave or break, he becomes productive and this in turn helps in their career growth.

Why parents should never compare siblings in a negative manner

It’s natural for the parents to expect the best from their child. But like all fingers are not alike, they have to understand that not all children have the same caliber. Each and every one is good at something and bad at something, but comparing them with their siblings would leave a negative impact on that child.

You may feel that if you compare the child with their siblings, it will instigate them to perform well, and that’s true. But, comparison should be just to vie with each other, not to bring an enmity in them.  This comparison may bring down their self esteem and they would feel left out. Let’s find out the reason why parents should not compare siblings:

1.       It leaves a negative impact in their mind: Remember every child is an individual and every individual has different traits. Comparing again and again might leave a negative impact in their minds and they mind lose their confidence.  Even if you want to give an example by comparing the sibling, do it in a very polite way so it doesn’t hurt their feelings.

One more thing, comparing in their studies and their academics is still OK in a way, as it will provoke them to do better. But never compare them for the looks and their physical appearance like “She is prettier than you, so it won’t suit you”. It’s a big NO. Not everyone is perfect and as a parent you should understand that.

2.       Brings in hatred for the sibling: Secondly, a child is very sensitive to things and little things might change their feelings towards you and the siblings. So you might not know and they would generate hatred for their siblings. Every human being is mundane and only their specialties make them extraordinary or ordinary. Keeping this in mind, handle them with extreme care and love.

3.       Feel biased: Never portray them as negative and siblings as positive, try to be unbiased. We know that parents are never biased towards their children and they treat them equally, but portraying the siblings as positive and the child as negative might bring in a feeling of partiality. Apparently, they would feel “even if we do anything good, they will never support me”. Every child might feel offensive, if you compare again and again.

4.       They might face mental stress and low self esteem:  Because of continuous blaming and comparison, your child may face mental stress and low self esteem. It’s you who should always help raise their self confidence. Instead, if you try to compare time and again, they might face mental stress and that might be hazardous.

To conclude, Accept your child the way they are and continued comparisons is not good for a harmonious relation between you and your child. If they do anything wrong, don’t get furious and start comparing, instead, try to placate them and make them understand their mistake and try to sort it together.

Comparing is never a solution to any problem, it’s for you to understand that and handle the situation.


Parenting: teaching your kids how to save money

When I was a kid, I used to love saving money and see my piggy bank again and again thinking that it would accumulate overnight. And we used to get money on occasions like birthday, festivals or any other special occasion. But, today kids get a pocket money on monthly basis and so they don’t know the value money. Parents have to teach their child to save money and also the value of money. This isn’t easy because they usually want to spend the whole money immediately as they get. It’s the duty of the parents to instigate them to save money.

So it’s important for the parents to make their kids understand the value of money and the importance of saving.

  1. Open a bank account: take your kid to your bank and explain about what is done in a bank, how to deposit and withdraw money and why it is important to save money in a bank. If possible, open a kid’s saving account and encourage deposit some amount of his pocket money into it and keep a track of the interest earned.
  1. Setting goals: encourage your kid to set a goal for himself, like if he wants a toy or any other item for that matter, ask him to save his own money till he has sufficient amount and then buy it.
  1. Help them spend in a right way: Take your kids to rural areas or villages for a casual visit to explain them that many kids are so poor that they can’t afford to buy clothes and explain them they should not spend money on things which are not really necessary at that point, instead ask them to spend some in helping these children get the basic things. This way they will know the value of money and the value of life. Also, help them in spending the money for their toys in the right way. Teach them how to bargain and buy.
  1. Give rewards: You are already giving them pocket money, so make it a habit of rewarding them with non monetary gifts for every saving they do. Like a surprise outing, or toys or any other gifts, which will encourage them to save more money.

There are many ways you can teach your child to save money. But make sure you are not too strict on them in spending. Go shopping with them and teach them how to shop, and bargain, so they won’t get cheated. Help them take their own decision on buying an item and if they are wrong explain them where they are wrong and what can be done instead.

So, though it is not an easy task, but once they get a hang of it,they would be able to  become financially responsible in future and lead a secured and successful life.