Life is a roller-coaster ride, full of ups and downs. Just when you think everything in life is going absolutely fine, and you feel happy and contented, just then you get a thought that is this all in real or just a fantasy. Once this doubt comes into your mind, you are scared to enjoy even that small happiness which life offers you. There is a continuous feeling, what if this happiness won’t last long? What if this is just a dream? What if I fall right in abyss? And these thoughts never let you enjoy slightest happiness in life
There have been continuous ripples in my life and so I really am scared to enjoy life. There have been people mocking at me and my life. Just when I was enjoying my life to the fullest, people come into your life and start poking you till you get annoyed. They can’t see your happiness neither can they be happy in their life. I mean what have I done to them? Why me always? And then you have people who have been a support system in your life in your kith and kin. And you feel confident and happy and say to yourself “come what may, they will always be there for you”.
How does it feel when your closest person, your support for life also starts mauling you for all that has happened in your life so far. You are broken completely and your confidence in torn asunder. Even in a hospital, when a patient is under support system, he/she responds well, once the support system is removed or crashed r not working, the patient finds it difficult to breathe on his own. This is the exact same feeling, when those who supported you, goes against you. I feel breathless and choked.
Every minute and every second, there are thoughts flowing in my mind, some negative and some positive. But the negative thoughts are so intense that they wash away all the good and positive thoughts and there you are back to square one with nothing but negativity all over your thoughts.
When I was a little girl, my mom always used to tell me, you can only judge a person in your worst time of life. Those who leave you and laugh at you in your difficult times are the ones you should never trust. But only when you have real-time experience, you come to know the depth of the statement. And today, I can proudly say that those who left me in my difficult time, does not deserve to be part of my happiness.
SO, life is full of good and bad things, and just because you have tasted more failures doesn’t mean you will never experience success. So I have decided I will just live every moment as it comes and not think about the future. This way, I can enjoy things as and when it comes.