Archive for the ‘Women’ Category

The joy and the Jitters

Posted: January 1, 2014 in Family, Health, Women
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The feeling of motherhood is inexplicable. You can’t wait to feel the kicks, the movements and listen to the heartbeat of your baby inside. You want to touch the baby and feel the love. There is little nervousness and anxiety for to- be parents. Everything they do and eat, they first want to confirm with the doctor and why not, this is your first conception and you are as novice as a small child. Right from the time you get the news of you being pregnant, you feel happy and want to break the news to the world.

Having a child is a wonderful experience, but still there is anxiety and tension continuously running in their mind. This is the time, when they get pampered from everyone and are made to feel special, but sometimes a sense of “loneliness” stays there. Some of the doubts that vacillate in your mind are:

  1. Worry and uncontrollable thoughts: Right from the time you conceive, a constant worry and tension stays intact. The fear of something bad will happen, or some past histories of the same or listening to cases and getting tensed. These thoughts are uncontrollable. SO you need to discuss this with your doctor.
  2. Lack of confidence and fear: Till the time of your delivery, there is conscious fear and your confidence levels are shaky. You want to get this done as soon as possible.
  3. Diet: A constant doubt about what is good for you and the baby and what is not, keeps running in your mind. You have a craving for something, but you have to think twice before you eat.

So, lot of other doubts come into your mind as an expecting parent which is natural. But at the same time peace of mind and body is very important for the baby as well as you. Having said that, little things which will help get you over the pregnancy jitters:

  1. Meditation: For the mental and physical peace, an expecting parent should meditate a lot. It will wash away all the doubts in mind and all the fears will vanish and you will feel relaxed and refreshed.
  2. Join a group: Every to be parents have these jitters and for them there are lot of classes conducted, where you can clear your doubts and suggest something which is useful. SO an interactive class will help you get over the jitters.
  3. Speak it out: If you have some sort of fear in your mind, best way to get over it is to speak it out with your doctor. Discuss the measures taken to rule out that fear. If required consult a counsellor who will help you come over the tensions and fear.
  4. Proper sleep: Most of the time, during this time, you have lack of sleep and that affects your body and mind. Constantly thinking about things which are irrelevant and straining your mind and body will affect your health. SO in order to get away from these thoughts, sleep a lot. Whenever, you get time, just sleep. Because when you sleep your mind and body is on rest and it gives immense peace and relaxation.

 

The first time parents are oblivious and taking tensions is mundane. But one has to keep in mind that it doesn’t affect your health and the baby’s health. SO just try to clear as many doubts as you can and get away with the jitters, rather than thinking and thinking about it and making the situation worse. Remember, your actions and your mental status, directly affects the baby. So watch your actions and thoughts not for you but for the baby and be happy.

Every individual has a dream or an ambition in life. SO does a woman have, but striking a balance between work and family becomes difficult for a working woman. Working 40 hours a week, she hardly gets time for herself and her family. And then at one point she has to choose between career and family, and she has to sacrifice her career and her dreams to fulfil her family needs. A woman always has to prioritize between family and work and for her family always comes first.

However, one can always pursue their career even if they are not going to office or could not work full time. There are innumerable options available these days for an ambitious mother. Below are some of the part time options:

  1. Freelancing: Most of the companies provide great opportunities to the freelancers. They can work at their comfort level and get paid on the basis of the work done or hours worked. So, this is one option which will help you continue with your career as well as balance your family life. Freelancing includes a glut of skills like freelance web designers, freelance writers, recruiter, and programmers. In every field these days freelancing option is available.
  2. Teaching: Some women would like to teach little kids and so this would be a great part time employment, as this would not be a 9 to 5 job. Moreover, you can teach a subject of your interest.  Also, you can opt for a visiting lecturer. This option is mostly at a higher level of education like MBA, but if you have already done a course in teaching and you are well versed with the subject, you can take this as a part time option.
  3. Contract employees: Big companies hire contract employees for a stipulated period or hours of work. One can always go for a contract position with big companies, the major advantage is that you get paid well and you can work as per your flexibility.
  4. Trainer: Again, lot of companies hire third party vendors to provide trainers in different field like communication trainer, voice and accent trainer, personality development trainer, and technical trainer. So you can work as a trainer in the companies. This is another great option to work part time and still get paid well.
  5. Tuitions: There are parents who, apart from sending their kid to school want a personal tutor for a particular subject or all subjects, who will help the kid understand the subject more. This job requires you to work just 1-2 hrs a day and again you are paid well.

 

When you browse through, you will find a plethora of options where you can choose a perfect part time job. Which will keep you moving ahead in your career at the same time spend time with the family. So, it is up to you which part time job you take up as a career. So, never let your dreams shatter and never let your sacrifices take a toll on your career. Being ambitious is not a blunder. So realize your dreams at the same time let your family know how important they are to you.

Unshaven is unhealthy

Posted: December 12, 2013 in Men, Women
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A clean shaven look reflects the character of a man. It shows how hygienic he is; though he might not be, but to impress a woman he would definitely want to be. Meera was very particular about cleanliness and she would always want her family also to maintain that. Anil was quite opposite; He would always be shabby and unhygienic. This brought clashes between the two. She would always ask him to clean shave and go to office as that would bring a good impression. But his laziness would always restrain him from doing what his wife liked. She was already irritated and upset and she gave up to her fate thinking she can never change him at least not in this life. It was Dec 1st and a Sunday. She was already quite busy with the household chores that she forgot it was her anniversary and it didn’t quite matter to her because she knew like every year this would be the same boring day. Her husband went out from morning itself and she didn’t wanted to bust the day by calling and fighting. She was preoccupied by her own chores. It was already 5.00 pm in the evening and Anil was still out. Now she started getting tensed and tried calling him, but his mobile was not reachable. She thought will try to call his friends and ask, but she didn’t have anybody’s number. Finally around 7.00 pm, she got a call and she ran towards her phone, but her heart was beating fast. As she answered the call, it was Anand, a family friend who said there is an emergency and asked her to come to his house. The only thing she could think of now was: “Is Anil fine”. She rushed towards Anand’s house. The door bell rang and Anand’s wife opened the door with a smile.  As she entered the house, Anil came right in front of her and gave her a surprise of her life. He was clean shaven and neatly dressed and looked no less than a prince. She was staring at him with awe, and was mesmerized by the effort he has done to please her. And “His clean shaven look bowled her over.” But she was never so happy and this has been the best anniversary so far.
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Having a miscarriage is the biggest loss ever. Especially with couple who has conceived for the first time, it’s really heart breaking. I recently had one, and can feel the pang behind. However, it was an early miscarriage and unfortunately, it’s common these days, says the doctor.

It’s really easy to be sympathetic and suggest, but the after affects and the suffering that the woman face is only known to her. Even If it’s an early or late miscarriage the pain and the sorrow is the same. No words of sympathy can eliminate the depth of pain one is suffering.  I still cry sometimes when I am alone. Though I had a 12th week miscarriage, but even before you hear the heartbeat of the baby, you start planning everything. You wait desperately for that moment when you will relish the feeling of motherhood. All the plans and dreams crash at a once.

But, some day you have to some over it, the sooner the better. I realized this just recently. Because the more you think about it the more you get deeper into depression, remember this is not the end of the world. You have to deal with this only then you can plan for the next baby.

  1. Kill the depression: A person automatically slips into depression once an unfortunate incident happens. It’s really important to come out of that, because excessive depression might affect you mentally and physically. SO practice meditation and keep yourself busy in order to cope with this after effect.
  2. The guilt: This is something, which I felt. We wonder what went wrong and was it my mistake. Have I done something, which I wasn’t supposed to do? So there are lot of questions and guilt in the mind. May be it was my mistake. SO first thing, Get out of the guilt. It is no body’s mistake. It had to happen and so it happened. Feeling guilty will make the situation worse and you will not be able to come out of it.
  3. Support each other: This is not a loss of a single person, but both of you suffer equally. So you have to support each other and try not to blame each other. I know your dream is shattered. But it’s time to move on and support and love each other.
  4. Talk to a counsellor: If you feel, you are not able to come out of it, speak to a counsellor. And talk your heart out and try to find a solution for this rather than living with it forever.
  5. Talk to your Doctor: Discuss with your doctor on what could be the possible reasons, this happened to you and what are the future measures to be taken, so that this is not repeated again.
  6. This is not the end: Remember this is not the end of everything. These days it is common and people conceive again. If not, there are many other options these days like adoption.

 

So, it all depends on you, how to get out of this situation and move on in your life. Your mental state of mind will become stable over a period of time. But this should not affect your health and mind. If you don’t come over it, this might affect your next baby. So keeping this in mind, try to be calm and composed. In no time you will come over it.

Why this indifference

Posted: November 15, 2013 in Safety, Women
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Today, this day, I would like to espouse for all the girls in the world who is and has been surviving in this male chauvinist society. I really don’t understand why people blindly follow the public reverence and not even use their commonsense.

Time and again, girls have been targeted at every phase of life. No girl in this world is safe enough. I would like to ask you, God has sent us for some  purpose, then why does this so called “society “ has to decide, that women and girls does not have the  freedom and right to live or to fulfil the purpose they are here for.

I mean for God’s sake, get some life. Right from the time a girl child is born they are being tortured. Especially in rural India, if they come to know that the foetus is a girl child, they kill her inside the womb itself. If, god forbids, she comes out, she has to suffer hell. And so she does, without uttering a word. Apparently, people support the social stigma to an extent, that they are blinded to see what is right and what is wrong.

A woman doesn’t have the right to study, work, have a social life, or have friends? A woman is compared with Hindu Goddess, but still her self esteem and dignity is torn asunder. All her life she sacrifices and suffers and doesn’t utter a word. Why this indifference?

If she has to work, she faces criticisms in office, at home, from relatives. Every day, her self -respect is torn to snippets, but still she suffers. Every day she faces molestation verbal or physical, still she suffers. She is a target of domestic violence, still she suffers. She is being raped and abused, still she has to keep quiet and suffer. She has to face acid attacks, still she suffers the pain. I mean there has to be a limit to her sufferings.

Why this indifference? Why this predicament only to her?  Why we are we so callous when all this happens right in front of us. Why when a woman comes to you for help, you shrug it off. Don’t you feel for her? Or is it just that, this is some spicy news for you to watch and enjoy and then blame the government for this and then back you are to your own world. Remember this can happen to your child, or your wife or any other family member.

In the Delhi gang rape case, millions of people stood for the justice of Nirbhaya. I would like to ask everyone, only when any such incident happens, you will stand up for it? Take a step forward and stand for every woman. She doesn’t have to be a rape victim or a molestation survivor or an acid attack survivor.

Let us all as an individual get into a pact that no such violence whatsoever will be acceptable. We will raise our voices against injustice and will support each and every woman in this world. So she can live a normal life. She doesn’t have to live her whole life with fear and insecurity. Only when we respect the women in our country, people will respect her. Let us set an example to the whole nation, that we stand for our women and support her.

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Directed by Anurag Kashyap, This movie is a must watch for the women in India. For a male chauvinist society, and the belief that women are weaker, it’s a lesson to give them back in their own way. Every woman, who would watch this movie, will get inspired to face the circumstances and not live their whole life in fear.

The story is about three working women, who are eve teased by the local brats. They are physically abused in public places and bus. Their family members also don’t support them initially. You can actually relate this story with every working woman, who faces molestation in bus and other public places.

AT least, my blood was boiling to see this. But, Good thing is, they fought back and they overcome the fear inside and fought for the dignity of every woman. And that’s what the Indian society needs now.

Give the message loud and clear that, your silence will not be treated as your inability and fear. If you break your silence, all lines will be broken. Sitting back and letting people watch when your self- respect and dignity are torn asunder, is not accepted. Give them back, in their own language, so they know what it is like, when a person is humiliated and molested in public.

This movie has also put a light on the different ways a women can defend her, by learning self defence techniques. So all in all A Must watch movie.

When you are travelling alone in your city or any other city for that matter, it’s always important to be extra cautious and careful and keep a track on the roads the driver is following.

With the recent Incident in Hyderabad, where a techie was abducted in the middle of a crowded place and was driven to a lonely place and was gang raped, the safety of girls are at risk. For those who don’t know the incident, let me just put a light on it. Akansha (name changed) was waiting for the auto to her hostel. She stopped many auto rickshaws but, no one was ready to come because her hostel was nearby. After almost an hour of waiting, a cab stopped right in front of her. She thought it was a sharing cab and got into it. Apart from the driver there was another man beside the driver’s seat. Without a slight doubt she boarded the cab and asked them to drop to her place. The driver was pretending, as if he doesn’t know the route and kept on asking the passersby on the way. The girl didn’t get a slightest Idea to keep her GPS on and follow the route. After they reached the outskirts of the city, the girl realized that she has been abducted and it was too late as, they threatened and raped her.

So, you see, even if you are staying in the city for quite some time, you have to be very careful.   I am sharing my Smart Suraksha Tips at BlogAdda.com in association with Smart Suraksha App.

  1. Smart suraksha App: Which already mentioned, is an app in Android, where you can send an alert to your contacts, in case you feel you are in danger.
  2. GPS tracker: This again is another app in Android, where your family members can always keep a track on where you are and in case of emergency, here also you can send an alert and they will know exactly where you are and can come forward for help.
  3. Self tracking: As soon as you board a cab or an auto, follow the route from your mobile, so if you find the driver is going the other way, you get alarmed and ask him to change the route or stop the cab. This way, you can at least get down in a crowded place rather than asking them to stop at an isolated place, giving them more scope to take the advantage of the hour.
  4. Keep your relatives and friends informed: when you board the cab, keep your friends or relatives informed about places you have reached frequently, so the driver gets the message loud and clear that, you are being tracked.
  5. Keep a pepper spray: This is very important, always keep a pepper spray always with you, so in case of any such trouble, you can get out of the situation.
  6.  Never show that you are new to the city:   If you are new to the city, even then don’t pretend that you are. Always be confident and don’t let the fear show up in your face.
  7.  Roll down the windows: If you have boarded a cab, roll down the windows and put your hands on it, so the driver doesn’t get a chance to pull up the windows and child locks it. This way you can at least scream if you find yourself in trouble.
  8. Avoid travelling alone: One in a hand worth two in the bush, so it’s always advisable not to travel alone. Try to travel with your friends or female colleagues.
  9. Don’t trust anyone: If someone offers lift, even if that person is known to you, think twice, before trusting them and accepting the offer.
  10.  Public transport is the best:  I would always suggest taking public transport for commutation, but in the worst case scenario, try to take an auto rickshaw, where at least you have the scope to get down, if you smell anything fishy.

These tips can help you save yourself from any troubles whatsoever. Safety always comes first and every woman must feel free to move in her own city without any fear.